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[doneisdone]

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[doneisdone]

[Teren nods, and is happy to let Anders take the lead. He may be panicking, but he at least knows what he needs in order to stop doing so, and she's happy to help him acquire it if it means everything's calmer as a result.]

[justice_is_blond]

[His actions when he gets there are frantic. Anger can push back some of the fear and some of the bile that's risen in his throat, but not all of it. He'll wrap some potions in bandages to keep them safe for travel, stick them next to a bag, and then disjointedly try sorting through the neatly labled herbs as if all of the labels aren't in his hand. He knows this room in the Infirmary by heart, but there is no way to protect Darktown from every eventuality and all he can see are his failures as he tries to pack things up.]

I can't save them all. I can't even save us. All I did, and it's this easy to take away freedom again. Why is it this easy, Teren? How can I make it harder? How do I protect my people when I can't even protect me?

[doneisdone]

[She helps him as much as she can, mostly taking direction and following after Anders to make sure everything he does receives a second and more careful pass.]

You protect them by staying alive, [she reasons, making a face at a small vial of something before packing it in with the rest.] That's the most anyone can ask. The rest is up to fate.

[justice_is_blond]

[Protect them by staying alive. He tries the thought on for size and can't quite figure it out. He helps his friends by staying alive, yes. There's a sometimes-surprising amount of people who would be upset if he was to die.]

How does my staying alive help? Unless it's the target on my back that's... distracting?

[He's gotten better at dealing with the hate directed his way, and sometimes knowing that his being alive makes their day worse makes his better. So many have tried to kill him. They've all failed, and most of them are dead instead.]

I've gotten particularly good at still drawing breath. Even when it's hard to breathe.

[Like now, as he finishes filling one pack with shaky hands and closes it up before moving on to the second and frowning at it. What else would help? They may be at the end of what will really make a difference and he stills, swallowing hard. It's out of his hands as soon as he hands the packs over. There's nothing else he can do and it's another layer of helplessness.

Anders looks over at Teren.]

I need to find a way to secure the mages against a repeat of this. A cure, a return to Darktown to... to save who I can, and then... Maker, there's always more.

[doneisdone]

[She rolls her eyes, more from weariness than irritation.]

Because the longer you stay alive, the longer you're around to offer your aid, [Teren explains patiently,] so spare the gloom and doom and get to work. Yes?

[She's been filling packs according to his instructions, helping with the busywork and keeping everything organized and well-placed so there's no undue stress.]

One thing at a time. Right now we're doing this.

[justice_is_blond]

[One thing at a time. It never feels like there's time for that, but trying to do too many things does trip him up. Anders takes a shaky breath and starts shouldering the packs.]

After this... I have to find a way to protect my people, Teren. I know you don't, don't trust magic. Or mages. But will you help me? Please? You've seen more of the world, know more of politics...

[doneisdone]

I'm already helping you. [Her tone is curt as usual, but no moreso than necessary.] I don't know why you think I'd stop.

[justice_is_blond]

[He looks at her, a short pause in all the franticness. Never before has he wanted to hug her as much as he does in this moment. Her friendship is there. Completely. She's there.]

I... I don't know.

[It feels cheap in his mouth, and the exhaustion that he uses to justify it feels even more cheap.]

Because I'm not thinking right now.

[That feels a little closer to adequate as he leads the way out.]