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Date: 2017-10-31 06:24 am (UTC)Happy, [ she grits, finally: ] Satinalia.
[ anyone who looks that smug just received a gift. ]
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Date: 2017-11-01 02:33 am (UTC)Oh, is it that time already. [She sighs, seemingly mindless to the fact that Wren might be displeased as she turns and taps her chin in thought.]
I imagine you'll want to say so to the person who gave you that in the first place. Perhaps they'll refrain from doing it again.
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Date: 2017-11-04 08:20 am (UTC)she catches herself before she says it aloud, lets her shoulders hunch; drop again. this isn't helping, isn't working. nothing she does lately seems to be fucking working, and none of that can afford to be confided. as though this were even an association for confidence.
(as though she knows much of teren, beyond absence. there have been glimpses — they have been few.) ]
You know my history with doors, [ her eyes shut, stay closed. ] Is that how you sought to woo the Captain?
[ by running into a door eye-first ]
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Date: 2017-11-06 07:53 pm (UTC)Pardon, I did woo her. [That's a verified fact.] But no, this was a serpent wooing me.
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Date: 2017-11-13 03:37 am (UTC)I always thought the bloody things were stories. [ the crack of an eyelid: ] Cannot leave any heroics for the rest of us, can you.
How long are you leaving that on?
[ the cloth ]
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Date: 2017-11-15 07:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-11-18 04:01 am (UTC)[ it's, perhaps, a touch too affectionate. better to pull back: verbally, and literally, in the creak of her shoulders.
]
We ought to see about getting you something proper. That fabric won't last.
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Date: 2017-11-19 09:00 am (UTC)It serves its purpose. And there's more fabric where that came from. But I digress. [She gestures around.] What's the occasion?
[letter]
Date: 2017-12-18 05:15 am (UTC)I thought you were the responsible one. I thought that you were the one in charge of keeping people out of trouble. I thought 'it's fine to leave everyone for a little bit, Teren will make sure they don't die'. And yet. And yet!!! I hear everyone went to Nevarra and Nathaniel got his ass kicked by a bunch of corpses. Really?
And speaking of which, did anybody there spit at you again? Because I'll go kick their asses if they did. I've been doing a shitload of training here, I can guarantee I can kick just about anyone's ass now. Even if it's a dragon. Or a corpse. Especially a corpse, actually.
You'd be surprised by how much training I'm getting done, considering my job here is to train other people. But I've found that they learn a lot better when you show them by doing it, and doing it multiple times. And of course, I go with them all the time when we do darkspawn runs. If there's anything I can say about the Western Approach, it's that there are no shortage of darkspawn to use for target practice.
Of course, there's plenty less than there used to be, now that I'm here.
I will say that I appreciate what you do for us a bit more now, that I have to do it for these kids. And they really are kids--They're all about the age I was when I joined, and it felt like an adult at the time, but looking at them now? I feel like I'm looking at infants toddling around with swords. Gotta change their nappies and put them down for naps or they'll get grumpy.
It's nice, though. Having people that I have to take care of. That I have to make sure learn effectively, because they're going to need everything I can teach them to make sure they survive. At least, survive until they of the taint. Which is about all I can really do for them, I guess.
And since I apparently have to make sure that all of you survive too, I'll be back to Kirkwall pretty soon. Try to make sure that none of you die before I get back.
Best wishes,
Kaisa Daesun
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Date: 2017-12-18 08:25 am (UTC)I assure you anything that became of Howe was most likely Deserved. I was not there as I had my own business to conduct in Nevarra City. No one has spit at me, at least not on Purpose, as there are many Drunks in the streets I frequent.
I expect you are a good Trainer and tireless. New Wardens need someone to Guide them through to their New Life and you no doubt make it seem a game. Perhaps if my Training had been similar I would enjoy the role as much as you seem to.
Don't become too Attached to them, I Warn you. You know why as much as I. You must keep your Heart in check now more than ever.
Until we meet again.
TvS
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Date: 2018-02-03 02:58 am (UTC)We don't have to listen to this, right? The quarantine? Being locked in the, in here? We're Wardens. We're not Inquisition. I can swim the channel, I've swam a lake, we can, we're not, right?
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Date: 2018-02-03 03:17 am (UTC)No one's locking anyone in anywhere. Pull yourself together, I'll meet you in the courtyard. [Outside, where there's air and animals and things to look at that aren't tower walls.]
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Date: 2018-02-03 03:28 am (UTC)They're locking the Gallows down, [he says, voice as low as he can go,] imprisoning us even though it's not spreading and it's not contagious. They're idiots and we're Wardens.
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Date: 2018-02-03 03:34 am (UTC)I heard. [She tries for impassive.] Contagious or not, at the first sign of anything going amiss outside the Gallows, the Inquisition will be blamed for it and we'll be in far hotter water than if we head it off now.
[Tentatively, she clasps Anders's shoulder, her grip loose enough that he can pull away if he doesn't like it.]
No one's being imprisoned. We'll live our lives as normal and wait for it to pass, or resolve it, whichever comes first. [They are. They are being imprisoned, and she knows it, feels its icy tendrils in her heart, the same beast gripping Anders'. But there's no sense in everyone panicking, if this is how it's going to be.]
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Date: 2018-02-03 03:59 am (UTC)In the Circle. The Circle that killed...
[His filters are so far down but he manages to catch himself, shaking his head and taking a half-step back.]
I don't know how to do this, Teren. Caged here, when I've already lost Sina this year, when I'm going to lose patients in Darktown...
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Date: 2018-02-03 04:57 am (UTC)[She lets him trail off, and doesn't let him dwell on it. The Circle that killed Karl. It's not a good place to be, least of all for someone with that association.]
You'll make it. It's nowhere you'd like to be, certainly. But the Templars are powerless, half-mad even, and you're free to walk about without encountering any.
[As for the clinic, she sighs, in resignation more than exasperation. Well, shit. She pinches the bridge of her nose.]
I've already spoken to someone on the mainland who'll be caring for Boots. Is there anyone you can contact over the crystal who can... [Not do his job, per se, but at least warn the patients that he'll be away? Do anything in the meantime? She doesn't know how it works.]
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Date: 2018-02-03 05:45 am (UTC)[It's bitter and despairing. He can't even angrily suggest they just annul the Templars because Alistair's one of them and the Rifters are ill too and they don't deserve that. He takes a shaky breath; speaking of deserving, Teren doesn't deserve to be at the end of his upsetness.]
I'm sorry.
[And that's on the broken side.]
The healers are here. I've one in training there but she can do little more than close shallow wounds. I've herbs there but... they won't be enough. It's the cold months so there's so many ill, and there's always fighting and stabbing. There will be deaths. There will be deaths, all because the Inquisition can't consult with its spirit healers before making a disease-based decision. She's panicking and people will pay.
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Date: 2018-02-03 06:02 am (UTC)On the contrary, Anders, you're panicking. I've already told you why I think this is happening, but you're not likely to agree as long as you feel trapped. [And talking him down is helping her, too: it enrages her that there are people in the poor districts who will be without help over this, but is mass hysteria a worthwhile tradeoff?]
People will die here too, as people do, all the time, for stupid unfair reasons. [Sighing, she looks back toward where the department head offices are, imagining that tiny wisp of a tattooed woman collapsing into herself. She doesn't know Beleth well, but she was one of the Warden camp regulars and isn't unfamiliar in appearance or deed.]
Beleth isn't the sort to make a decision rashly, or to let people die for no reason. I... [she rolls her eyes at herself.] ...can't believe I'm saying this, but perhaps the people in charge know what they're doing this time.
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Date: 2018-02-03 08:23 am (UTC)The people in charge always choose cages. Always choose to lock away. They didn't ask the spirit healers about it being contagious, and they didn't ask about what's afflicting the mages. We have the root of that, it's not related, but it's used for an excuse anyway. The facts aren't needed because they, they...
[He shakes his head again, all the strength leaving his body as he looks away and curls in on himself.]
They're wrong. But my word will never be enough and the lives I want to save will never be enough. This is Kirkwall. This is what happens in Kirkwall.
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Date: 2018-02-03 09:36 am (UTC)If you say it's wrong, I believe you, but stop. Stop. [She rests her other hand on his other shoulder, looking pointedly into his face.]
A single loud wrong person will start a panic in the city, and we'll be the target. Even if it's all bollocks, shutting us off protects everyone who would be affected. Us, citizens, everyone. People get stupid when they think they're in danger, and even moreso when they have someone to blame for it. Us. They will blame us.
[She gives him a tiny shake, not enough to be violent, but to make sure he's paying attention.]
You know this better than bloody anyone. So we'll sort out your patients, we won't sleep until it's sorted, but we're going to be good quiet little fucking neighbors and calm down and ride this out without making more problems.
[Once again, she's talking to herself as much as to him, but at the very least she's managing to become convinced there's some truth to it.]
Now shall we see what we can do for the clinic? Before the boats stop running?
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Date: 2018-02-03 10:07 am (UTC)Anders breathes, shakily. The rest of it isn't easy, but she's right. There's always potential for easy panic in a city and all it took was one crazed Templar or crazed blue Rifter to set matters off. And there's still a small window to help Darktown before it's out of his hands.]
We can, we can strip my office in the infirmary. The healing potions, they're not working on the plague anyway. We can send all of it that I've made.
[His body language and voice are still defeated, but his gaze isn't as drawn inward. He can't help himself. He's caged and tracked again. But maybe he can help Darktown a little more still.]
Bandages and poultices. General antivenom for the spiders that are rampant down there.
[He takes a breath. Thranduil offered to pay for a healer - there isn't one that they can hire, but the supplies funded by the Inquisition will at least help with some of it.]
Everything. It's the Inquisition's fault they won't have a healer. They can have it all.
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Date: 2018-02-05 07:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-02-07 09:11 am (UTC)I can't save them all. I can't even save us. All I did, and it's this easy to take away freedom again. Why is it this easy, Teren? How can I make it harder? How do I protect my people when I can't even protect me?
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Date: 2018-02-09 06:32 am (UTC)You protect them by staying alive, [she reasons, making a face at a small vial of something before packing it in with the rest.] That's the most anyone can ask. The rest is up to fate.
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Date: 2018-02-10 08:50 am (UTC)How does my staying alive help? Unless it's the target on my back that's... distracting?
[He's gotten better at dealing with the hate directed his way, and sometimes knowing that his being alive makes their day worse makes his better. So many have tried to kill him. They've all failed, and most of them are dead instead.]
I've gotten particularly good at still drawing breath. Even when it's hard to breathe.
[Like now, as he finishes filling one pack with shaky hands and closes it up before moving on to the second and frowning at it. What else would help? They may be at the end of what will really make a difference and he stills, swallowing hard. It's out of his hands as soon as he hands the packs over. There's nothing else he can do and it's another layer of helplessness.
Anders looks over at Teren.]
I need to find a way to secure the mages against a repeat of this. A cure, a return to Darktown to... to save who I can, and then... Maker, there's always more.