[Despite his amusement, Teren doesn't seem to share it, and in fact seems somewhat more guarded. It's not for no reason that her experience has been bad.]
It's nothing personal, [she assures him quietly,] but I don't believe that's possible. [A change, that is. Not unless something changes in her, which is quite unlikely.]
[The amusement fades, and Anders straightens a little.]
You don't think you can trust me.
[It's a little rich, considering what went on not too long ago, but she's not the first person to decide that. It only hurts because he'd thought they'd been getting somewhere in all of this.]
Is this something you've felt all along? Or is it something due to your time in the future?
[Somehow, this isn't the reaction she expected. Teren isn't sure what she expected.]
Anders, I-- [it's rare that Teren is stunned into silence, but she has to take a moment to collect her thoughts, to find a way to continue the conversation without upsetting him further. It's not one of her fortes, and she's abruptly reminded of their recent encounter. The one he doesn't remember.]
It has nothing to do with you, [she says instead, for once sounding more flustered than accusatory.]
[Teren furrows her brow back at him, giving an agitated little shake of her head. With the clarification, her confusion is turning to the usual impatience.]
Anders, you're not listening. [She rubs her brow.] I am telling you I've been mistreated by healers and have a natural aversion to them as a profession. That's not bloody personal.
[She's beginning to think better of even getting this deeply into it, and it's manifesting in her movements becoming more clipped, more irritable.]
There are self-admitted assassins living right next door to us and we live with them in perfect harmony, is it so difficult to believe a profession doesn't make a person?
That's my point. Profession doesn't make a person, could you trust me as opposed to any random healer? I happen to be a mage, I happen to be a healer, but you know me.
[He's not sure how he's listening. He's pretty sure he's hearing what she's saying. Maybe she's not saying what she means?]
It's not about you! [This she snarls, her tether abruptly snapping. It's not fair, of course, but few things are, and having complicated feelings about people who openly care about her isn't Teren's strong suit.
She seems to realize she's being an ass, but any delicacy she was trying for is gone in the wake of being unable-- or unwilling-- to articulate her damage right when she needs to the most.]
Nate was dead, [she says brusquely,] you kept him alive far too long after he heard his Calling, wouldn't let him go, and he asked Alistair to kill him. [She directs a glare at Anders for just long enough to realize how far over the line she just went, and feels an instant, roiling shame that only barely shows in a twitch of her mouth.]
[He freezes, argument entirely forgotten as her words sink in. Nate was dead, and Anders had forced him to hang on until he'd had to ask Alistair to kill him? He hadn't even been able to ask Anders. Anders had failed him.]
I...
[The blood has drained from his face, and Anders gets up, shaking his head.]
Perhaps you should. [It comes out icier than intended, but at this point what is there about the conversation to salvage?
She watches him go, contemplating that it might be better this way, to prevent Nate's gruesome end in five years-- and to prevent her having any real part in it. Perhaps chasing Anders away is the only way to get things together and move them forward.
Or perhaps she's a coward who would rather be bitter and alone than vulnerable.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 02:19 am (UTC)It's nothing personal, [she assures him quietly,] but I don't believe that's possible. [A change, that is. Not unless something changes in her, which is quite unlikely.]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 02:38 am (UTC)You don't think you can trust me.
[It's a little rich, considering what went on not too long ago, but she's not the first person to decide that. It only hurts because he'd thought they'd been getting somewhere in all of this.]
Is this something you've felt all along? Or is it something due to your time in the future?
[Did he do something new and disastrous?]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 03:37 am (UTC)Anders, I-- [it's rare that Teren is stunned into silence, but she has to take a moment to collect her thoughts, to find a way to continue the conversation without upsetting him further. It's not one of her fortes, and she's abruptly reminded of their recent encounter. The one he doesn't remember.]
It has nothing to do with you, [she says instead, for once sounding more flustered than accusatory.]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 04:02 am (UTC)[Which is something he runs into not infrequently, but especially around Teren.]
You can't take a chance on me, but it's not personal?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 04:09 am (UTC)Anders, you're not listening. [She rubs her brow.] I am telling you I've been mistreated by healers and have a natural aversion to them as a profession. That's not bloody personal.
[She's beginning to think better of even getting this deeply into it, and it's manifesting in her movements becoming more clipped, more irritable.]
There are self-admitted assassins living right next door to us and we live with them in perfect harmony, is it so difficult to believe a profession doesn't make a person?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 04:30 am (UTC)[He's not sure how he's listening. He's pretty sure he's hearing what she's saying. Maybe she's not saying what she means?]
Why not take a chance on trusting me?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 04:39 am (UTC)It's not about you! [This she snarls, her tether abruptly snapping. It's not fair, of course, but few things are, and having complicated feelings about people who openly care about her isn't Teren's strong suit.
She seems to realize she's being an ass, but any delicacy she was trying for is gone in the wake of being unable-- or unwilling-- to articulate her damage right when she needs to the most.]
Nate was dead, [she says brusquely,] you kept him alive far too long after he heard his Calling, wouldn't let him go, and he asked Alistair to kill him. [She directs a glare at Anders for just long enough to realize how far over the line she just went, and feels an instant, roiling shame that only barely shows in a twitch of her mouth.]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 04:53 am (UTC)I...
[The blood has drained from his face, and Anders gets up, shaking his head.]
I should go.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-08 05:05 am (UTC)She watches him go, contemplating that it might be better this way, to prevent Nate's gruesome end in five years-- and to prevent her having any real part in it. Perhaps chasing Anders away is the only way to get things together and move them forward.
Or perhaps she's a coward who would rather be bitter and alone than vulnerable.]